‘I’m ugly,’ someone said recently. Sounded like they meant it too.
It got me thinking. About calling ourselves names. And about the power of our words.
Because we all do it sometimes, don’t we? Name-calling ourselves. Bad names too, usually.
We make some sort of silly mistake and we tell ourselves off: ‘You stupid idiot! You’re utterly useless!’
Something along those lines. Probably in slightly bolder terms than that. But I don’t want to risk this blog becoming G-rated for strong language.
Strangely enough we almost never seem to call ourselves good names when we do something right. Even though we should.
Because the power of the words we use is both subtle and enormous.
Subtle in the sense that their power isn’t apparent. Not immediately anyway. They’re not like a magic spell that we say out loud and then, poof, something appears, disappears or transforms in a cloud of smoke and pixie dust.
But in your mind that’s exactly what happens. And that’s what makes words so powerful. By calling yourself names, it’s as if you put a spell on you.
How can names put a spell on you?
To your subconscious your thoughts and feelings are as real as these words you’re reading right now. Repeated often enough, your subconscious will start to believe in them.
What started out as a seemingly innocent reaction of calling yourself an idiot, turns into the firm belief of actually being one.
And that sets you up for a whole chain of events that will only serve to confirm and reinforce your belief. Every time you call yourself a bad name, your mind will seize the opportunity to tell you, “See? I told you so. You are stupid / useless / ugly / (fill in your own favourite name-calling word here).”
Before you know it, you’ll start acting from that belief too. You’ll come to expect the outcomes that fit with the label you’ve attached to yourself.
Your energy field will become drenched with this belief of yours, making you an attraction magnet for situations that will act as self-fulfilling prophecies.
So to all intents and purposes, you have indeed put a spell on yourself.
Breaking the spell
Take some quiet time.
Think back to a couple of moments when you called yourself names.
Analyse the situation: what happened, why did you react the way you did?
And more importantly: how did you feel after you called yourself those names? Varying degrees of miserable, I’m guessing.
The next step might be tricky: it’s time to take responsibility for how you felt.
Because you may have fooled yourself into believing that the situation or the people involved caused you to feel the way you did. But in all likelihood, it’s your reaction and the words you said to yourself that triggered your emotion.
For some people, this is pretty hard to swallow. But you know there’s truth in it.
Feel the emotion of the situation. Remember the words and the reaction that triggered the feeling.
Your emotion. Your words. Your responsibility.
But not your fault. Responsibility is not the same as guilt or blame.
Blaming yourself, or feeling guilty about how you felt and how you reacted, none of it will help you. Quite on the contrary. Those emotions would only reinforce the negative limiting belief about yourself.
So we’re not going down that path, okay?
Instead, here’s an easy healing and meditation exercise you can try on yourself. To fix the hurt that the emotion inflicted upon you.
Self-healing love meditation
- Sit down comfortably. Close your eyes.
Breathe. In. And out.
No need to try and force the rhythm of your breathing. Just breathe normally, but pay close attention to every single sensation and movement involved:
The air flowing through your nose and the cavities above your mouth and throat. Your lungs expanding and deflating all by themselves. Your chest and your shoulders rising and falling.
The closer you pay attention to these physical details, the more you’ll relax (because you’re preventing your mind from busying itself with other things).
Grounding is important in any form of energy work. So that’s the next step you’ll take: ground yourself.
Bring your attention to where you touch the ground, or the surface that you’re sitting on. Visualise how you are connected with the earth. Try to see and feel this connection in your mind. Thick, soft threads or energy lines, running from your back, your legs and your feet into the ground.
Let these roots sink deep and wide into the earth. For miles and miles. As if you’re some sort of ancient tree. Firmly rooted and nourished by Mother Earth.
Feel the energy flowing from the earth, to you. Draw it in through your roots, into your body. Sense the warm, loving glow.
Now, gently lay both your hands over your heart.
Let the energy from the earth flow through your arms and out of the palms of your hands.
Feel how the energy wraps itself around your heart, mingling with the energy of your heart chakra. Maybe you’ll see soft colours, playing and flowing into each other.
Enjoy the experience. Allow the energy to wash over you. And it’s okay to smile :-)
When you sense that the energy starts receding, slowly bring your attention back to the here and now. Take a couple of deep breaths. Put your hands on your legs and rub them gently. Wiggle your toes. Move your feet.
Open your eyes. Stretch if you feel like it.
And remember. Next time you catch yourself wanting to call yourself names, try to be a bit more loving to yourself.
Original image credit: Al King on Flickr